Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
