He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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