Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think a kid would responsible me up
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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