if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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