can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize