Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
