accomplished twins. life is a go
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
