come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
