Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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