is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
