I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
