so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
