Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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