Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he thought i was a dude.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He better not be in your backpack
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
