mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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