Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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