It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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