lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
