I can text with my tongue
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize