Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
