hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
