Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize