shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize