so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize