We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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