Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize