$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
