You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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