your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize