6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
