the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
