Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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