i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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