I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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