Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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