Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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