I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
