my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
love makes seman taste better
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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