i would punch a child for taco bell
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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