why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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