i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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