How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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