We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
pray to the hookup gods
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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