you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
