so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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