i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
