So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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