I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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