i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize