I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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