it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
