I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
