Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize