It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize