My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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