I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
