C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
