It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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