the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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