This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
