Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Who died my cat blue again?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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