I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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