Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
