I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
