My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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