I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize