why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
