like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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