so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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