Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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